Coaching and Kink Mentoring by John Pendal
"I saw a video of John talking about his own experiences. It had me laughing and thinking so I called him. From the moment we spoke he had me seeing myself and differently and seeing my interaction with others more clearly. The more we talked, the more I trusted his observations and shared more of my experiences. Part life coach, part kink mentor and confidant, John helped me regain perspective and self-esteem, and all while guiding my early steps into a new community. I highly recommend his gentle presence, and challenging insights." - Dominic
Kink mentoring and life coaching are now available from BDSM educator and former International Mr Leather, John Pendal - either as video calls to individuals or workshops to larger numbers. (A list of workshops available can be found here.)
KINK MENTORING
I have over 20 years experience teaching BDSM workshops around the world. My passion is helping people find their way in kink, leather and BDSM. One-to-one sessions are completely confidential and individually tailored.
I have over 20 years experience teaching BDSM workshops around the world. My passion is helping people find their way in kink, leather and BDSM. One-to-one sessions are completely confidential and individually tailored.
"John is an excellent listener. He takes his time getting to know you and your interests, give you a combination of things to think about, point you to references and resources in the gay/kink world, and provide practical advice about how to start or restart a life in kink." - Anthony
LIFE COACHING
I am relatable rather than aspirational. During my life I have experienced negative thoughts, gay conversion therapy, coeliac disease, back surgery and I'm autistic.
I want to help other people, especially those who feel like an outsider. You may feel that way because of your gender or sexuality, neurodiversity, health diagnosis or just a feeling of "not fitting in". I will listen and ask questions in total confidence and without judgement.
I specialise in coaching for self acceptance and happiness. My work includes helping newly diagnosed autistic folk work out what that means, discovering where masking ends and you begin, and how to change your life to better fit your neurology.
Coaching can help with all areas of your life. I have helped people discover who they are, what their passions are, find their voice, achieve goals, accept themselves, grow in confidence, be happier and change their lives.
If you would like an introductory call please fill in the form here. (You are welcome to wear dark glasses during calls, have the camera turned off, switch to text chat, fidget, info-dump or anything else that will make you feel more comfortable.)
I am relatable rather than aspirational. During my life I have experienced negative thoughts, gay conversion therapy, coeliac disease, back surgery and I'm autistic.
I want to help other people, especially those who feel like an outsider. You may feel that way because of your gender or sexuality, neurodiversity, health diagnosis or just a feeling of "not fitting in". I will listen and ask questions in total confidence and without judgement.
I specialise in coaching for self acceptance and happiness. My work includes helping newly diagnosed autistic folk work out what that means, discovering where masking ends and you begin, and how to change your life to better fit your neurology.
Coaching can help with all areas of your life. I have helped people discover who they are, what their passions are, find their voice, achieve goals, accept themselves, grow in confidence, be happier and change their lives.
If you would like an introductory call please fill in the form here. (You are welcome to wear dark glasses during calls, have the camera turned off, switch to text chat, fidget, info-dump or anything else that will make you feel more comfortable.)
"John Pendal is an awesome presenter!" - Midori
"John Pendal is quite incredible. An English BDSM educator with fascinating perspectives on autism and kink" - Susanna
"John Pendal is quite incredible. An English BDSM educator with fascinating perspectives on autism and kink" - Susanna
HOW DOES IT WORK?
Coaching usually takes place using Zoom. That way either of us can have our cameras on or off at any time, and we can also switch to text chat if that's easier. If not, please let me know what method you'd prefer. I'm very happy to provide audio only or written sessions. You need to be sitting somewhere quiet and private where you can think and speak without being overheard.
We start with a free call to get to know one another. If you wish to continue we will discuss the best way forward for you (number of calls, duration, dates and times) and sign a coaching agreement. Sessions are paid at the time of booking and can be cancelled up to 24 hours notice with no charge - after that the full fee is payable.
This is not a sexual service and sessions are client led.
QUALIFICATIONS AND MEMBERSHIPS
CONFIDENTIALITY
I will need to store your phone number or email electronically to set up the calls. I will also ask if I can take hand-written notes during the calls without using your name. I won't divulge to anyone that you are being coached or anything you've shared. If we meet socially I won't make reference to your calls. (I'm happy for you to tell other people if you want to make a referral.)
(Registered with the Information Commissioner's Office for data protection. I have passed checks from the Disclosure & Barring Service in Jan 2024 and the Irish Vetting Service in June 2021 and can send proof on request.)
For more information check out my life coaching website at www.johnpendal.com
Coaching usually takes place using Zoom. That way either of us can have our cameras on or off at any time, and we can also switch to text chat if that's easier. If not, please let me know what method you'd prefer. I'm very happy to provide audio only or written sessions. You need to be sitting somewhere quiet and private where you can think and speak without being overheard.
We start with a free call to get to know one another. If you wish to continue we will discuss the best way forward for you (number of calls, duration, dates and times) and sign a coaching agreement. Sessions are paid at the time of booking and can be cancelled up to 24 hours notice with no charge - after that the full fee is payable.
This is not a sexual service and sessions are client led.
QUALIFICATIONS AND MEMBERSHIPS
- FAA Level 2 Award in First Aid for Mental Health
- FAA Level 3 Award in Supervising First Aid for Mental Health
- Accredited coach with Animas Centre for Coaching
- Associate coach with Thriving Autistic
- Member of the International Coaching Federation
CONFIDENTIALITY
I will need to store your phone number or email electronically to set up the calls. I will also ask if I can take hand-written notes during the calls without using your name. I won't divulge to anyone that you are being coached or anything you've shared. If we meet socially I won't make reference to your calls. (I'm happy for you to tell other people if you want to make a referral.)
(Registered with the Information Commissioner's Office for data protection. I have passed checks from the Disclosure & Barring Service in Jan 2024 and the Irish Vetting Service in June 2021 and can send proof on request.)
For more information check out my life coaching website at www.johnpendal.com
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INTERVIEWS
If you'd like to hear me talk more about being a coach for autistic and kinky folk I've been interviewed by Gem Kennedy for the Queers & Co podcast (queersandco.captivate.fm/episode/027).
I've also been interviewed by K Anderson for Lost Spaces Podcast (episodes.fm/1484938210/episode/), and by Robert Black for Sexual Heroes (buzzsprout.com/1184882/9782768).
I've been interviewed in writing by Ayzad for his website on the subject of "kink and autism" at ayzad.com/kink-and-autism and by the team at Esmale for their blog at blog.esmale.com/2024/07/08/john-pendal-about-leather-fetish-and-coaching
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TESTIMONIALS
"I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude to John for the pivotal role he has played in shaping how I move forward. His insight has explained so much to me around the legal aspects of what we do, and I cannot overstate the positive impact it has had on my perspective. The learning curve he set me on has been nothing short of life changing." - Karen
“John's mentoring sessions were an excellent way for me to ask questions and explore both my own kinks and the broader world of fetish and BDSM. With John's refined skill set in coaching and years of experience in the kink world, he offers a professional service that allows individuals to explore and navigate their desires without it getting confused with sex work or ulterior motives. John has a wealth of specific and practical knowledge that will no doubt be useful in your particular situation. Also, whether or not you are neurodivergent, John's bespoke infographics are excellent resources for navigating your unique place in an overwhelming world.” - Henry
“John is one of the most amazingly knowledgeable and thoughtful people I have met on my journey. I wish I could gift the whole world time with him. It was super helpful to be able to talk to someone in the lifestyle as I manoeuvred through stepping back in to the community and socializing after the pandemic and other isolating life factors. I would HIGHLY recommend him to anyone. Really and truly caring and knowledgeable and just exactly what I needed when I needed it." - Jenn
"I'm very grateful for my time with John. Not knowing what to expect from a BDSM mentor it exceeded any expectation. Each call was highly engaging, thoughtful and brought new personal insights. Those insights were applicable across my entire life, not just the self in the BDSM world. John's experience, confidence, ability to ask the right question and listen made each call better than the last. He was able to quickly understand who I am and how I want to show up in the BDSM space. He tailored our discussions and guidance in a way that met me where I'm at on the journey and broke down any fear that I may have had. I highly recommend John and look forward to future calls with him.” – Kurt
"I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude to John for the pivotal role he has played in shaping how I move forward. His insight has explained so much to me around the legal aspects of what we do, and I cannot overstate the positive impact it has had on my perspective. The learning curve he set me on has been nothing short of life changing." - Karen
“John's mentoring sessions were an excellent way for me to ask questions and explore both my own kinks and the broader world of fetish and BDSM. With John's refined skill set in coaching and years of experience in the kink world, he offers a professional service that allows individuals to explore and navigate their desires without it getting confused with sex work or ulterior motives. John has a wealth of specific and practical knowledge that will no doubt be useful in your particular situation. Also, whether or not you are neurodivergent, John's bespoke infographics are excellent resources for navigating your unique place in an overwhelming world.” - Henry
“John is one of the most amazingly knowledgeable and thoughtful people I have met on my journey. I wish I could gift the whole world time with him. It was super helpful to be able to talk to someone in the lifestyle as I manoeuvred through stepping back in to the community and socializing after the pandemic and other isolating life factors. I would HIGHLY recommend him to anyone. Really and truly caring and knowledgeable and just exactly what I needed when I needed it." - Jenn
"I'm very grateful for my time with John. Not knowing what to expect from a BDSM mentor it exceeded any expectation. Each call was highly engaging, thoughtful and brought new personal insights. Those insights were applicable across my entire life, not just the self in the BDSM world. John's experience, confidence, ability to ask the right question and listen made each call better than the last. He was able to quickly understand who I am and how I want to show up in the BDSM space. He tailored our discussions and guidance in a way that met me where I'm at on the journey and broke down any fear that I may have had. I highly recommend John and look forward to future calls with him.” – Kurt
RESOURCES
I have created a model to describe BDSM sexuality, which can help people to analyse the kind of scenes they are looking for. You can read about the model here.
From 2003-2005 I wrote an advice column, and some of the answers related to kink. There's a list of the columns here.
I have created a model to describe BDSM sexuality, which can help people to analyse the kind of scenes they are looking for. You can read about the model here.
From 2003-2005 I wrote an advice column, and some of the answers related to kink. There's a list of the columns here.
"Thanks for the workshop you did online today. My partner was on the call and it gave us a great opportunity to talk about our own desires and boundaries! Thank you." - Rob, Melbourne
BIO
I am a cisgender gay man (pronouns he/ him). In 2003 I became the 25th person to win the annual International Mr Leather contest in Chicago. Since then I have travelled extensively teaching BDSM workshops around the world, including Beyond Leather in Fort Lauderdale (2018 & 2019); Bloom Community (2023); Darklands, Antwerp (2020); Down an Dirty in Melbourne, Australia (2015 in person & 2020/2022 online); Edgeplay Scotland group in Edinburgh (2016-2019); G.O.D.S. in Denver (2023 & 2024); HunCon in Budapest (2019, 2022 & 2023); Inferno (2009 & 2010); Kink Between the Lines (2022 & 2023); Kink Convention in Denmark (2022 - 2024); Kinkferansen in Oslo (2019); Kinkfest in London (2005 & 2008); Kinky Queer Weekend (2021); Leather Camp in Wichita (2006); London Alternative Market (2008, 2016-2021); Lupercalia in Canada (2017 & 2018); Minnesota Leather Pride (2004); Mr Leatherman Toronto (2007); Palm Springs Leather Pride (2004); Pandemonium in the Prairies, Saskatoon (2024); Portsmouth KinkCon, UK (2024); The Red Horse Society (2021); Rome BDSM Conference (2017); SINSations in Leather (2010); SM Bergen, Norway (2020); SM Gays in London (2017 & 2018); Spring in the South in Atlanta (2008); Tribal Fire in Oklahoma (2009); Thunder in the Mountains in Denver (every year from 2007 to 2017); and Wicked Grounds (2023-2024).
I have also been a guest presenter for the Sexual Health Alliance Kink Certification Program (2021-2023)
For my full leather bio please check out www.leatherlondonguide.com/profile.html
I am a cisgender gay man (pronouns he/ him). In 2003 I became the 25th person to win the annual International Mr Leather contest in Chicago. Since then I have travelled extensively teaching BDSM workshops around the world, including Beyond Leather in Fort Lauderdale (2018 & 2019); Bloom Community (2023); Darklands, Antwerp (2020); Down an Dirty in Melbourne, Australia (2015 in person & 2020/2022 online); Edgeplay Scotland group in Edinburgh (2016-2019); G.O.D.S. in Denver (2023 & 2024); HunCon in Budapest (2019, 2022 & 2023); Inferno (2009 & 2010); Kink Between the Lines (2022 & 2023); Kink Convention in Denmark (2022 - 2024); Kinkferansen in Oslo (2019); Kinkfest in London (2005 & 2008); Kinky Queer Weekend (2021); Leather Camp in Wichita (2006); London Alternative Market (2008, 2016-2021); Lupercalia in Canada (2017 & 2018); Minnesota Leather Pride (2004); Mr Leatherman Toronto (2007); Palm Springs Leather Pride (2004); Pandemonium in the Prairies, Saskatoon (2024); Portsmouth KinkCon, UK (2024); The Red Horse Society (2021); Rome BDSM Conference (2017); SINSations in Leather (2010); SM Bergen, Norway (2020); SM Gays in London (2017 & 2018); Spring in the South in Atlanta (2008); Tribal Fire in Oklahoma (2009); Thunder in the Mountains in Denver (every year from 2007 to 2017); and Wicked Grounds (2023-2024).
I have also been a guest presenter for the Sexual Health Alliance Kink Certification Program (2021-2023)
For my full leather bio please check out www.leatherlondonguide.com/profile.html
Page updated 31 August 2024
All text on this website copyright © John Pendal 1999-2024 unless otherwise stated. All Rights Reserved.
You are welcome to link to any page of this site but text must not be reprinted without permission from the author.
With the exception of Thriving Autistic, I have no relationship or affiliate advertising with any products, organisations or applications shared on this website. Any resources listed here are for information only and are used at your own risk.
All text on this website copyright © John Pendal 1999-2024 unless otherwise stated. All Rights Reserved.
You are welcome to link to any page of this site but text must not be reprinted without permission from the author.
With the exception of Thriving Autistic, I have no relationship or affiliate advertising with any products, organisations or applications shared on this website. Any resources listed here are for information only and are used at your own risk.
